a (very late) beginning

So.  It's November 3, 2012, and I am about two months into my Senior Integrative Project.  My section instructors decided not to require that we keep a blog (contrary to, I think, all 3 other sections and past years' sections).  Initially I was in favor of this, because I thought it would be another responsibility that would add to my stress level rather than a positive tool in the process.  I don't know how other people in my section feel, but now, two months into it, I've realized that utilizing a form of daily reflection would be incredibly helpful for me and perhaps keep me from going insane.

Without going into too much detail, I'll just say that this semester has been rough for me, and I've been struggling with IP for a number of reasons (some internal, some external).  The past week I've been doing a lot of reflecting and talking to people, and I think I finally figured some things out.

Here's a chronology of what I've done and what I've realized.

• Decided to focus on book arts as my main medium, incorporating fibers into the book structures
• Chose to include social change component.  Decided that I would do this by making books that would visually "tell people's stories."  These people would be from communities viewed as "at-risk," "underserved," "marginalized," etc.
• Made a book about a close friend to get a sense of part of the process I might go through with these people.  
• Started accompanying Nick Tobier's Social Entrepreneurship class to Detroit Community High School in Brightmoor every week.  They are working with a 9th grade art class there, and I've been tagging along to get to know the students and the neighborhood.  
• Planned a bookbinding workshop for this class.  It's happening this upcoming Thursday and I'm excited!!
• Realized that physical distance and personal obstacles were preventing me from getting involved in Brightmoor the way I had hoped (also realized that these things can't be rushed) 
• Decided to start volunteering at the Delonis Center (a homeless shelter in Ann Arbor).  Have been to the volunteer orientation but haven't actually volunteered yet (my time management skills have gone down the drain in the past couple of weeks, but it's okay, I'll get them back, I promise.)
• Talked to a few people whose opinions are very important to me, and with their help had a lot of REALLY GREAT REVELATIONS

In keeping with the list format, here are those revelations and the new decisions that go along with them.

• I'm trying too hard to force together my personal art practice and my interest in social change through the arts.  Thus, I’m going to maintain more of a distance between these two realms.  I want to use art to help communities and individuals in need.  I want to create my own artwork because I love making art.  Those two things can be INSPIRED by each other, but they don’t have to be the same thing!

• The communities I’m working with are not the only ones who can benefit from expressing themselves artistically.  I can too, and I obviously know that since I’ve chosen to study fine arts for the past four years.  I wouldn’t be doing it if it didn’t make me feel good. 
• I AM DOING TOO MUCH THINKING AND NOT ENOUGH ART MAKING!!  I need to start creating.  Books, weavings, sketches, whatever.  I’m going to let the art be inspired by my experiences: experiences with IP, with these communities, with other things that happen in my life.  I’m going to let this inspiration happen naturally, not through force, because then it wouldn’t be authentic. 
• For whatever reason, I'm not getting the support I need from my instructors/GSIs/section peers.  So, I need to look elsewhere for "supporters."  Talking to people and utilizing their expertise in different areas will alleviate some of the pressure that I've been putting on myself for having to DO IT ALL MYSELF.
• I haven't been reflecting enough. Creating this blog is an attempt to start a (hopefully daily) reflection process for myself.  Maybe I'll write in my sketchbook one day; maybe I'll do some sketching instead of writing directly on here.  But I'll use this as a place to keep track of my accomplishments and be able to look back and see what has been happening.  

I was going to talk about the book that I showed at my critique last week, but I think I'll make a new post for that because this one's getting LONG!

Thanks for reading,

Abby